Time’s Up Buck (as told by Twiki the Robot)

There was a show from the late 70s which was a remake. It was called Buck Rogers in the 25th Century. It was about a very hairy chested, macho astronaut who woke up 500 years in the future after his shuttle was frozen. The plots of the show revolved around Buck Rogers saving the day through his obnoxious libido. The moral was that the future would really need more testosterone. I loved it, but would be embarrassed to share it with my six year old today.

Time’s Up, Buck (as Told by Twiki the Robot)

You woke up on that pirate ship
From a centuries frozen nap.
You thought your trip was over
You said you’d lost your map.
You can’t walk the plank in space
So they sent you on your way.
And that’s when we found you.
It was your lucky day.

I immediately protested.
There’s no room for extra lodgers.
Well, let me introduce myself, he said
My name is Captain Rogers.
I was on a mission
And I guess things ran amuck
And please don’t call me Captain
My friends all call me Buck.

They placed me as your sidekick.
Robot and the troglodyte
You can guess which one of us
I didn’t think was bright.
You had the charm to spare
But your jokes were all offensive
You’d nod and wink and say
No need to be defensive!

And then it happened.
You made your last mistake.
Your hand was in the cookie jar.
It was all that I could take
You sexually harassed
Captain Wilma Deering.
And I said Beedee, Beedee, Beedee
Or were you hard of hearing?

It was a fatal accident!
I didn’t hear him scream abort
Or hear the buzzing danger sirens
It’s right there on my report.
He again became a block of ice
As he flew right out the airlock
No one said it would be easy
To be a toxic space jock.
My metal hand waved goodbye
I bet he was a pirate spy

And as for me and Wilma Deering
There will be no more buccaneering!